My Suitcase

I was talking to a friend recently about how we’ve been using this time to unpack our suitcases.

It really is like there’s a suitcase of beliefs and dispositions we’ve been carrying for years, and we’ve just never had the time to stop and reflect and question it more deeply. Now, at this time, we’ve had a chance to open it up and evaluate. Do I want to carry this anymore? Does this fit? What have I outgrown?

It can be a lot to think about.

So I sat to write about what I’ve learned, because I’m repacking my suitcase. Maybe you have been packing some of the same things, too.

Intent and impact are not the same thing.

Meaning well doesn’t mean it hits someone the right way. No matter how hard you try, you have blindspots and you will mess up. Learn how to make a real apology.

Love what you love.

Wonder Woman 1984 is one of my favorite movies to ever exist, like what even is a rotten tomato. Love what you love, and enjoy it completely.

The thing that sets you apart, your gift, will be the thing that undoes you if it goes unchecked.

If you’re good with words, watch them. If you’re brave with change, learn how to apply it. If you have a strength, enjoy it, but keep an eye on it.

Living is an art.

There’s a rhythm to life that takes some time to learn, and you can always improve. How you get up in the morning. When you rest. It’s an art.

Wherever you live, treat it like you’re visiting on vacation.

When you’re on vacation, you’re usually more open-minded and excited to try any new thing. Treat where you live like you’re discovering it, because with Google Maps there’s just no reason not to.

There is something satisfying about handling your responsibilities right away.

The right time to address something is right when it shows up.

Hike. You’ll love it, I promise.

I used to think going to the gym checked every box, but that’s just not true. You can’t replace getting out of those four walls and going on the trail.

There is no such thing as work-life balance. Just balance.

The split is a myth. If life looks like pieces that get sectioned off, it will always feel like they’re competing.

The idea of: “if I’m working on this area, that means it’s at the expense of this other area” is not real. Just have a balanced approach to each moment, and it will all flow together.

If you want to grow and change, you have to unlearn first.

The first step to change is not any kind of new frontier. You can’t take on a new mindset until you learn why you’ve outgrown the old, first. Unpack the suitcase.

Starting out anything new will always mean feeling small.

Expect it. Acknowledge it. Just never stop moving forward.

It’s intelligent to ask questions.

Everyone knows something you don’t. And knowing when to ask for help is a real, actual skill. There are no prizes for not asking questions.

No one needs you more than you need you.

Candidate for my next face tattoo, watch out 2021. You need you and never forget it.

This is a real one: if it’s not authentic, drop your customer service voice.

If you have ever waitressed, unpaid interned, call-centered or had any experience in the customer service sector — you may have a ‘customer service voice’ that you use sometimes without thinking about it. It’s when your inflection is slightly higher, phrasing is more smoothed over to keep the peace, and you feel less authentic.

This part of you needs to be discarded and reclaimed. And it feels very, very good to let it go.

Be very mindful of timing when sharing your ideas.

We have grown up in an age where you share your initial thought. You tweet your first reaction, post a picture on the way home. It’s important to be mindful of how sharing your idea impacts your idea. Will you feel as much freedom to be creative if you bring people in on your brainstorming? Don’t you want room while you grow? New ideas can benefit from space.

Whatever the situation is: Only you know the answer.

Whatever popped into your head — that’s what I’m talking about.

No one knows your life better than you. You’re very blessed if you have people you can ask advice from. But only you can decide.

Never stop reading.

I’m not talking about a screen. Or status updates. Or even listening to summary podcasts: Books. Real, page-turning books. Keep one on you at all times and you might find out you love it again.

Fun fact: Your failures will give you hidden gifts.

It’s unexpected, but any failed venture gives you mini souvenirs for your next step. It’s awesome.

What trait is stronger now? What hidden talent surprised you? Which friends did you meet?

In the aftermath, failures bring out the very best in you. You will love yourself so much more because you get the chance to meet yourself again.

If you are being real with yourself, forgiveness takes much longer and is much harder than it sounds.

Forgiveness is less like a feel-good and more like grieving. It comes in waves, and when a memory surfaces it is worth every ounce of effort to fight any part of you that wants to hold on to bitterness. You will win if you continue to keep your heart open.

But real talk: not lying to rewrite the memory means it will be a true fight. It would be much easier to caricature the situation and not be understanding, to someone else or yourself, but that empathy is what makes you human. Choose the long way, it’s the real way. Whatever it looks like, never stop until everything is forgiven.

Recognize your impact.

Take responsibility for it — this life is amazing because we all impact and challenge and encourage and shape each other.

There is someone you know that has gotten a certain drink order for years because of you. There’s a hug you gave that changed someone’s next decision. There’s a talent you have that others watched and learned how to use for themselves because they were inspired by you first. That’s an amazing amount of influence, and we all have it. Enjoy it but be responsible with it.

You can acquire just about any taste.

I almost like LaCroix. Almost.

No one else will let you know you’re giving too much.

And if someone else does, that usually means you’ve passed the point of balance a long time ago.

You don’t need a reason to be confident.

If your confidence needs an explanation, it will come and go based on whether you are satisfied enough. So don’t justify it. You’re confident because you exist.

Daily habits and organization never stop being the answer.

Turns out you never outgrow this one. If you’re looking for fulfillment, clear the runway so it can land. Good habits make room.

Be what God created you to be, whatever that is. Be that.

Be unconventional. Be the way you picture yourself. Have your own style. If you’re willing to stand out when necessary, you will find the right rooms for you.

Being small is not kind.

I don’t even know where that idea was taught, but it’s wrong. Adjusting yourself to your surroundings is not humble. It’s not “considerate.” Stay the same everywhere. Be exactly who you are. Whatever that means. Express yourself freely, buy a yellow couch, whatever.

Live your life, not a life. That’s how I want to repack my suitcase.